text; un: berserker; open.

[dehanded]

[ the fact that she manages to text half as well as she does is no small feat, thanks to her literal claws. you thought people with inch long acrylics made clicky noises when she texts? well ibaraki's claws are harder than... most substances found under the earth.

so, for that reason alone, she should be excused for typing with the caps lock on. ]

HELLO DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI READ THIS !!!!!!!

DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI

DA VINCI YOU ARE USELESS GET OUT OF THE STUPID SHOP AND READ THIS MESSAGE I AM SENDING YOU

OR I WILL SMASH YOUR BIRD DA VINCI

DA VINCI

YOU ARE A TERRIBLE CASTER

DA VINCI!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU THINK YOU CAN HIDE IN YOUR SHOP WITH YOUR EXTRA FOUS

BURNING SERVANTS

AND BEING USELESS? FINE. WE DO NOT NEED YOU.

[ end message. its fine that da vinci didn't respond. ibaraki doesn't need her! she's not tired and hungry and definitely not wanting to go back to chaldea and get some good real food. and real mana and maybe also not be in trouble for... various crimes.




she's not desperate, which is why 2 minutes later, she sends this message: ]

RULER DETECTIVE, IF YOU ARE SO WISE YOU SHOULD READ THIS AND PROVE YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THE USELESS CASTER DA VINCI

YOUR NAME IS HOLMES YES?

ELEMENTARY YOURSELF TO SEE THIS

HOLMES

HOLMES

[ reminder: she is not desperate, and deserves commendation for typing all this with her nasty gremlin claws. ]

Comments

[freeatlast]

[Fate is so off the wall it definitely will blow Crowley's mind if he ever gets a crash course in it!]

Yeah, see this is why you look like you're having a fit. No one, and I mean no one, thinks any of that makes a lick of sense.

[dehanded]

THEN IT IS FORTUNATE THAT I AM NOT SPEAKING TO YOU

ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU ARE USELESS, APPARENTLY

[freeatlast]

Useless? I'm not the one spamming the entire bloody network!

[Ouch, his pride!]

[dehanded]

IT SERVES A GREATER PURPOSE, UNLIKE YOU

[freeatlast]

Bullocks to greater purpose, I'm over that load of shit

[dehanded]

YOU ADMIT TO BEING A WEAKLING AS WELL? PITIFUL

[freeatlast]

What? How the Heaven did you get that from that! 'course not.

[dehanded]

THE STRONG HAVE PURPOSE, THE WEAK DO NOT. EVEN HUMANS, FRAIL AS THEY ARE, CAN BE STRONG WITH SUFFICIENT WILL. YOU HAVE JUST ADMITTED THAT YOU HAVE NEITHER WILL NOR POWER

[freeatlast]

I haven't said either. All I said was great pustulant bullocks to the whole 'greater purpose' thing.

[dehanded]

[ what the fuck is pustulant and what the fuck is bullocks ]

DO YOU HAVE PURPOSE OR NOT

[freeatlast]

[Do NOT magic-google that, Ibaraki]

My PURPOSE is to do whatever I feel like

[dehanded]

[ do NOT tell her what to google do, cranky kong ]

AND THAT IS APPARENTLY TO COMPLAIN AND BE USELESS

THUS CIRCLING BACK TO THE BEGINNING

[freeatlast]

Look, I don't have to justify myself to some crazy person over the internet. I'm not the one all caps-ing about dead guys in the first place!

cw: viol.e.nc..e..

[dehanded]

[ because we have no pride, never, and continuity in the same post is a JOKE ]

WHAT IS ALL CAPS-ING

[ she wants to know why everyone's fucking fussing about how she's writing. SHE'S DOING HER BEST AND NOBODY RESPECTS THAT. FUCK YOU. ]

AND IT IS NOT ABOUT, IT IS TO. IF I WISHED TO SPEAK WITH YOU PITIFUL FOOLS DIRECTLY, I WOULD DO SO AND THEN RIP OFF YOUR LITTLE JAWS WHEN YOU START WHINING ABOUT BEING CALLED WEAK

[freeatlast]

[Well then]

Someone's got a little bit of an anger problem, I see. Might want to work on that.