fellden | text; un: berserker; open.

[ the fact that she manages to text half as well as she does is no small feat, thanks to her literal claws. you thought people with inch long acrylics made clicky noises when she texts? well ibaraki's claws are harder than... most substances found under the earth.

so, for that reason alone, she should be excused for typing with the caps lock on. ]

HELLO DA VINCI DA VINCI DA VINCI READ THIS !!!!!!! DA VINCI DA VINCI DA VINCI DA VINCI YOU ARE USELESS GET OUT OF THE STUPID SHOP AND READ THIS MESSAGE I AM SENDING YOU OR I WILL SMASH YOUR BIRD DA VINCI DA VINCI YOU ARE A TERRIBLE CASTER DA VINCI!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU THINK YOU CAN HIDE IN YOUR SHOP WITH YOUR EXTRA FOUS BURNING SERVANTS AND BEING USELESS? FINE. WE DO NOT NEED YOU.

[ end message. its fine that da vinci didn't respond. ibaraki doesn't need her! she's not tired and hungry and definitely not wanting to go back to chaldea and get some good real food. and real mana and maybe also not be in trouble for... various crimes.

she's not desperate, which is why 2 minutes later, she sends this message: ]

RULER DETECTIVE, IF YOU ARE SO WISE YOU SHOULD READ THIS AND PROVE YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THE USELESS CASTER DA VINCI YOUR NAME IS HOLMES YES? ELEMENTARY YOURSELF TO SEE THIS HOLMES HOLMES

[ reminder: she is not desperate, and deserves commendation for typing all this with her nasty gremlin claws. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ well that escalated quickly... ]

what kind of arson themed party r you planning?

[ because seriously what the shit?? ]

[ your mom escalated quickly. ]

WHY WOULD YOU PLAN ARSON INTO THE PARTY? THAT IS BORING

[ I mean, fair. ]

right

not much of a bonfire guy myself

not since that one time I almost wound up a smore in a house fire

YOU WERE A MARSHMALLOW?

[ some of us are fireproof, and therefore, not bothered by housefires ]

[ if it walks like/talks like a pyromaniac....]

I was dead so

more or less

NO, FLESH HAS A DIFFERENT TEXTURE. AND THE BONES CRUNCH SO WONDERFULLY WHAT IS A BITTER GHOST DOING HERE, BESIDES WISHING TO BE DRUNK

[ oops yeah she gets the pun in his name. ]

good to know...

[except not really.]

hell if I know

been asking myself the same question

not like I chose to be here

[ oh boy ibaraki is about to try and recruit someone to her gang which ABSOLUTELY does exist and is 100% real and not imaginary at this point in time. ]

HAVE YOU NOT BEEN SUMMONED BEFORE, GHOST? YOU MUST BOW TO THE CONTRACT WITH YOUR SUMMONER IN ORDER TO BE GRANTED YOUR WISH OR DESTROY THEM AND BE FREE TO PERISH ONCE AGAIN. OR THE THIRD OPTION, OF COURSE